The other day I overhead a conversation about whether someone should get a divorce. One person, who I can only assume was a Christian, said, “Well, you know Jesus says in Matthew 19 that you shouldn’t do that.” They went onto give more Bible verses about not divorcing.
I could only cringe. As I was not part of the conversation, I had to hold my tongue. I wanted to say, “Are you serious? Is that all you could say to this hurting individual is that the Bible says don’t do it?”
It’s very easy to focus on outward behavior and words. It’s much harder to listen to the Spirit of God to show us where the real problem is and to give us the scriptural truth we need to hear. I call this “the truth at the point of the lie.” Is it true the Bible says don’t get divorced? Yes. But is that the truth this person needed to hear right then? Probably not. If the second person in the conversation was a believer, they probably all ready knew they shouldn’t get divorced. If they were not a believer, this is definitely not the place to start!
Behavioral change starts with a change of thinking. If we want to see a particular behavior changed, we need to expose the lies in our thinking and exchange them with the truth (Rom. 12:2). Most of the time, however, this lie is buried a few layers under the surface conversation. If we really want to be used of God to see authentic change, we must be willing to slow down and ask the Spirit to show us what’s really going on – the set free truths we need to hear – and then respond how He would have us respond.
Are you only dealing with surface issues? Or will you allow the Spirit to get at the heart of the matter – your faulty thinking? Real change is also a matter of the head.